There was one step more than any that created the belief that I could change my life. And change any aspect of my life. I don’t know about you but when you are in a situation and you have “tried” to change numerous time, it becomes harder.
Rather than we concentrating on the lessons learned I was reinforcing the belief that – “I can’t do this!”
I don’t really want to share this as it now feels like it was a different woman to who I am now. I used to smoke. Since I was eighteen. You would think that I would have known better by the time I got to university. Apparently not. I am sure it was a lot about hanging out with people that I thought were cool. This was a story I used to tell myself when I used to be out in the cold, shivering – “the fun and coolest people are the ones who smoke”. Ah the stories we tell ourselves!
For years I had been yearning and talking about wanting to change my life. I detested that I smoked. My sister had been listening to me about how I wanted to own my life more. She was also listening to the stuff beneath the desire.
She recommended a book to me. I know, a book, how can I book change you?! I see the eye rolling and I genuinely feel you. Stay with me. Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life” is in my top three most powerful book I have ever read.
I thought I was smoking because I was addicted to the nicotine. I wasn’t. I read the book and within three months I had stopped. That wasn’t my desired outcome when I first picked up the book. I was curious when I set out. There wasn’t one huge “aha” moment either when I read it, there were a series of moments throughout as I slowly digested it. I had been stopping and starting my habit for ten years. The reason I stopped was not because it is unhealthy, gross and antisocial (it is all of that). The reason was this…..
I believed that I was good enough to stop. That is why I choose to change what I was doing.
I valued and loved myself enough to stop. I didn’t know that was why at that moment. I made the connection nearly a year later.
The book is 235 pages, some of it resonates within minutes, some will hit you in the face and other parts will make you cry. Some you may choose to discard and some of it will make complete sense. You need to experience it for yourself. This is what is at the core of it; we need to love ourselves first and foremost. Once we know that we are worth loving, regardless of our behaviours, we are enough. We may over eat, over or under exercising, indulge in too much sugar, drink, smoke, doing drugs, self harm when we feel we are not enough. Different people have different coping mechanisms.
We can choose a different life. We can change all of that, all the internal stories and behaviours. They are not set in stone. And that is what this book offers, the option to think differently and take a different path.
Now isn’t that worth one step?