I’m feeling blue. Right now. In this moment. I know it will pass, but these are my feelings and I am sitting in them. My sister just left after a lovely week of staying with me in Palma and so I am feeling this.
My ego wants to edit this and say this is personal. This is boring. No-one will read it. I feel it though so – “Ego thank you, and leave me be“.
If you read my last blog you will know that Coming Home has been a huge realisation for me. For some of you it might be a case of “well done Susan, welcome!”And for the rest of us like me, “that sounds incredible, but I don’t know how to get there or what does that mean?”
For now I am Being. I need to be with it. I need to sit in my feelings. And today I’m feeling a little sad that my sister has left. The apartment feels like the light is shining a little less brightly. She has energy with her, and for Eileen who is an energy healer, hers is probably stronger than some.
Energy keeps coming to me recently, in so many vices. What is that?! Do you notice that that you get one little sign and then another and then another. This is partly due to enjoying three weeks at my yoga training and feeling the energy. Staying in the mystical Sierra Nevada mountains on an organically run farm, family owned and loved for over 200 years. With 15 other souls, sharing our energy, intentions, letting go, being frustrated by not being able to let go. Generally being human!
We spoke about energy being in everything and specifically in Nature. The earth and how we draw our energy from it, the sun heating the earth so growth and transformation can occur in us and nature, the air we breath, the water than allows us to breathe and flow and the space around us. Energy is in us and all around us. It is in the food we eat, the water we swallow, the people we meet, the exchanges with strangers that make us smile or not. It is in our phones, our houses, or tea. Its all around us.
Do you notice it? I must admit to being oblivious to it at lot. I can blame living in a city but that’s not just it. I wasn’t aware. I wasn’t connecting to it. I wasn’t listening and open to it.
I was listening to Laura Beckingham’s podcast this morning, Space in the City. She was sharing in episode 8 about how she experiences energy while working with people in the corporate space and life in general. I can’t attest to being in tune like she is, however she helps me to normalise this. People are aware and becoming more aware of the energy around them. I am becoming more aware of sitting in my own energy and allowing it to be what it is. Like right now I am allowing this to unfold rather than reach for food which is one of my options.
Last night we were celebrating great news my sister had and we ended up chatting to a couple next to us. Within a few minutes my energy had completely dropped and I felt exhausted. There was something about one of the people we were talking to that instantly drained me. Yes they were talking at and over me, but it was more than that. I got up and went to the toilet to get away. Needed a moment. I thought it might have been because I had a long fun filled day and we were heading for dinner so maybe my physical energy had dropped. But when I returned and they were still talking and pushing out their energy I had to stop it. I found myself putting my hand up to my chest and holding it there as if to protect me. I asked for the bill and dragged my dazed self away.
I have no idea what happened. I think I could feel that person’s energy and it was not positive. Do you notice feeling this? That one minute you can feel relaxed and engaged and the next absolutely wiped. Most of us recognise this when we meet someone and we get a feeling. That is a form of it, but this was different. I cannot write this off as being introverted either and that I spent too much time in their company. It was 15 minutes all in.
I have a saying, a mantra of sorts, “it is what it is”. For this occasion I am returning to it – “it is what it is”. This phrase helps me to return to this moment and also let it go. I’m recognising it and now letting it go. I am sure there will be more awarenesses especially now that I have also written this and I am sending it out to the universe.
And with these thoughts and with my sister in the air returning to Ireland I am sending her and you positive love and energy.
Have a beautiful day.