I am hearing so many women say they have a feeling that something is missing. It started with myself though. It always does.
A stirring of discontent. That there must be more to what I am on this beautiful planet for than “this”.
There is a deep sense of being unfulfilled rippling across our communities. My belief is that this is a universal questioning that we are engaging in. Have you noticed the amount of Life Coaches that are emerging especially in the Western World? I have many friends that have transitioned into being coaches. And many more that stop at this junction first as a means to finding out if this will make us feel less disconnected. I did a course myself, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), to see if that would answer it for me.
People, and allow me to talk about women only here as I so often do.
We know that we are more than what we do, speak and see. We know that we have something in us that wants to be heard.
We are beginning to listen to ourselves and say – I know there is more in me! I know there is more I am meant to be here for.
I recognised that while NLP gave me some answers and was incredibly enlightening, it just scratched the itch. I love the idea of an itch. An itch is similar to physical pain, it is our bodies way of telling us that something is amiss. It is signalling to us something important is happening that needs our attention. Often the more we scratch the more we actually irritate ourself. And you know what sometimes you have to be irritated otherwise we just live the same day 1,000’s of times over and call it a life!
The emergence of yoga and life coaches I believe is no coincidence. They are being approached as options or avenues to scratch the itch. As a western society we lend towards the logical approach. We need to understand before we feel or experience. So if we study ourselves then maybe we can figure out what we are looking for.
Often we want an instant “fix” or “pill” to figure it out and then we can happily skip off into the sunshine and live a life that is pain and sorrow free.
That doesn’t exist and even if it did, imagine how dull it would be!
So what is it we are looking for? How do we recognise when we are looking for something? I hear this echoed in my own mind and in conversations with those that I love. We often confuse our search for purpose or dharma with the disconnected feeling. While purpose is without doubt important – we will never find it if we are busy doing all the time. How can you know what you want if you are filling up your time? How many times do you hear yourself say I have no time? This has become a mantra. “I am soooooo busy!”
Busy distracting ourselves with consuming social media, watching TV, buying new clothes, a new or even for some a second car, getting a promotion to earn more for a house that we never see with a spare bedroom. Working to have a fabulous holiday and weekends “to get away”. The phase “to get away” I guess sums all of this up.
I am going to be controversial here. I believe we are no busier than previous generations. We have plenty of time. We have an abundance of time!
We have so many tasks that we can now delegate – laundry to the washing machines, ironing was a task made up by some man to keep women busy, ditch it or choose to stop doing it or gift someone else the power of employment. There are supermarkets on every corner – you can even get it delivered. The working hours are longer because we are choosing to commute and we are not clear about why we need to leave on time to get home.
So if we genuinely have more time what are we doing with it? And why does it feel like we have much less time?
We have lost our connection to ourselves. We cannot hear ourselves. The gift of hearing our soul, our spirit, our inner self, has been lost. It has never been an easy path to quieten the mind, this is no more or less than 5,000 years ago. However now we fill our time rather than sit and be. We are scared to hear ourselves.
I have been searching for an answer for years. I finally created space for myself, moments of peace and quiet. And now I know that I need to come home. To my inner home. To my soul. She is waiting for me. She wants me to listen to her. That whisper of intuition.
This inner self is the intuitive power that as women especially we have. Our soul is always whispering to us, guiding us. Sometimes, maybe often, we cannot hear her. You know that whisper though, when you have moments of peace and a moment of clarity it is that feeling, that gentle nudge and you know you have made the right decision.
How do you distinguish it from the other voice in your head? It is the whisper versus the insistent nagging voice that keeps interrupting you. You know the other voice that says you need that bar of chocolate or you will be happier if you could just have a bigger garden or a nice holiday or a better job.
We need to listen to ourselves. We need to connect to our souls. All our souls are waiting to be heard. Patiently waiting for us to listen. You know the best bit of this? We are all connected, all our souls are connected. That is why so many of us are searching. It is why we are meeting women that are in a similar place to us, maybe searching in different ways but ultimately with the same quest.
We are coming home to ourselves. We can come home any time. Close your eyes and breath gently and fully into your body. Be still. Allow yourself to be for one moment. Allow the eyes to relax. And the area around the eyes to relax. This is coming home.
When you are walking somewhere, or having a cup of tea or watching your kids play. Just be there and do that. By not speaking or doing for a few minutes you notice how quickly it gets quiet. You can press reset anytime you wish by doing this.
You have time. I promise you, you beautiful human. You have time.
You can come home my friend.